Lauren's paper
1. What are some areas that could use more detail? Why?
The opening because there are pouints where i thought she could be talking about many topics.

2. What additional sources might the author use? Does the lead involve you in the story?
she could have used more interviews. yes it does invlove my in the story.

3. Does the story contain a well defined scene (a detailed description of someone doing something or something happening)? What is it? If not, make a suggestion for a scene that might work.
yes it does

4. What would you like to see or hear more of? Less of? Include, any other suggestions you have for improvement.
I would like to hear more about the twilight phenomon.

Justins

1. What are some areas that could use more detail? Why?
I feel that his paper is very stong over all maybe a better closing paragraph
2. What additional sources might the author use? Does the lead involve you in the story?
He used alot of student interviews. yes the lead is good
3. Does the story contain a well defined scene (a detailed description of someone doing something or something happening)? What is it? If not, make a suggestion for a scene that might work.
Yes it does
4. What would you like to see or hear more of? Less of? Include, any other suggestions you have for improvement.
I think that your interviews add very powerful information into your paper.