I am going to do a drawing...

1. What is a problem/issue that our entire student body (our school, community, country, etc.) faces today?
the unemployment rates

2. What is your view/position on the problem or situation?
We need more jobs for people who can not work

3. What would you like to achieve with your editorial? (What is the desired result?)
describe how
unemployment is hurting our country

4. How will you persuade your audience to adopt your viewpoint as theirs? List at least 4 persuasive points.
Draw a picture that shows a man dreaming about the life that he could have but he cant because he does not have a job.

5. How will you motivate your readership to action in your conclusion?
Show people what it is like to not have a job

6. How will your editorial serve a public purpose?
why people need jobs to survive

Playing college athletics at the division 1 level is a dream shared by many. Many work hard and push themselves to be the best they can be to make that dream come true. Here at Eastview high school there is a young man is getting prepared for his dream to come true. He is 6’5’’ and weighs is in the neighborhood of 280 pounds. He is a gifted young man in the classroom and on the gridiron. He has been voted to all state teams as well as all conference teams. His name is Sean Marben.

Sean has been a division 1 prospect ever since his sophomore year. While many of us were still trying to lean the game Sean was beginning to plan his future after high school. He received numerous letters in the mail from various schools all telling him they same message “We want you to be part of our 2010 football team.” Each week he would get a few new letters, from schools all over the United states.

It was not until his junior year that he started to look into all the schools and the offers that he had in front of him. “I just felt so overwhelmed, I had no idea where I wanted to go to school, all I knew was I wanted to go somewhere that was strong academically as well as having a good football team.” Sean had offers from nine division 1 schools after his junior season, some were partial scholarships but the bulk of them were full rides.

When he was not practicing he was dedicating most of his time going on college visits throughout the country, when he would come back from his trips he either didn’t like the football program or the academics the school offered. There were many factors that had to be perfect for Sean to go to a certain school “The most important factor a school must have is rewound academics, along with good football facilities, free apparel from the school, the location of the school and whether or not I will be given a job right after I graduate.”

There was one school however that stood out amongst every school. The school is located in Maryland, Annapolis to be exact. Sean Marben had chosen to attend the Naval Academy for school. “I never saw myself attending a military school but it is the perfect fit.” The Naval Academy is a great school that produces some of the United States finest students and soldiers.

There is a lot that goes onto becoming a college athlete, they are not just born gifted at their sport. Sean Marben has put hundreds of hours on the practice field and in the weight room to become one of the state’s best offensive linemen. Everyone who knows him would talk about what great work ethic he has and the leadership skills that he has.

Division 1 football is a totally different game then High Scholl football; everything happens faster, everyone is much bigger and faster. “I am preparing the best I can for college football the best I can by following the workout regiment the Navy sent me along with eating better.” It will be a very big transition from high school to college but he feels that he can make the switch by staying on top of his goals.

Football is only half of the reason Sean Marben has decided to attend the Naval Academy. The Naval Academy is known for an Ivy League education, Navy is one of the most difficult schools to be accepted into. Each year they only accept around 5% of the applicants who apply. On average over 100,000 applications are sent into the Naval Academy’s admissions offices each year and only 5,000 students are accepted. They strive to get the very best of the best who will be determined to become the best student they can be and be the best soldier they can be.

The Naval Academy is different from most universities in the country because if you attend their school for longer than two years you are required to serve in the navy for an additional five years after graduation. So while many are just working on their majors Sean will be completing his major and learning about the type of job he will want to have while serving his six additional years. Sean has selected three jobs that he has interest in doing during his five years “I plan to get a career in engineering, so I am thinking about becoming a submarine commander, Navy Seal, Or an Aviator. Mainly a submarine commander because you get a education on nuclear engineering so once I am out of the navy I can get a nuclear engineering job somewhere and make a ton of money.” These are just a few of the jobs Sean has to select from that go along with his engineering career.

Although Sean is focused on his career after the Navy he is still very excited about the four years he will be spending on the Navy campus. Sean will be attending the Naval Academy Prep School his first year of college. He will be a red shirt freshman for the football team. This means that he will still have four years of college illegibility, so he freshmen year will not go to waste if he does not get a chance to play. “I am excited about going to the Prep School, it will give me a chance to get used to what the Navy is like, and it will also give me the leadership stills needed to become a better football player and a better soldier”.

The Prep school mainly consists of young men and women who have been kicked out of the Naval Academy for breaking some sort of rules, or for the people who have issues that need to be resolved before they can become a soldier. But there is a large amount of students who attend the prep school who are in the same situation Sean will be in. So this will help him get to know people that are also athletes, mainly football players so he can build friendships with others on the team.

Most importantly Sean Marben is attending the Naval academy because of the brother hood of all those who attend the school. “The people I meet in school may be the people I go to war with, so I will learn to trust every one of them even if I do not get along with them because one of those men or women may save my life some day.” Being part of the Navy does not end when you are graduated, what those men and women laearn and the experiences that they share will stay with them for the rest of their life. They will be reminded everyday that they fought for this country.

Sean is prepared for everything the Navy brings because he feels that the Naval academy is where he belongs. But he does hope that we will not be in a state of war while he is serving.

Lauren's paper
1. What are some areas that could use more detail? Why?
The opening because there are pouints where i thought she could be talking about many topics.

2. What additional sources might the author use? Does the lead involve you in the story?
she could have used more interviews. yes it does invlove my in the story.

3. Does the story contain a well defined scene (a detailed description of someone doing something or something happening)? What is it? If not, make a suggestion for a scene that might work.
yes it does

4. What would you like to see or hear more of? Less of? Include, any other suggestions you have for improvement.
I would like to hear more about the twilight phenomon.

Justins

1. What are some areas that could use more detail? Why?
I feel that his paper is very stong over all maybe a better closing paragraph
2. What additional sources might the author use? Does the lead involve you in the story?
He used alot of student interviews. yes the lead is good
3. Does the story contain a well defined scene (a detailed description of someone doing something or something happening)? What is it? If not, make a suggestion for a scene that might work.
Yes it does
4. What would you like to see or hear more of? Less of? Include, any other suggestions you have for improvement.
I think that your interviews add very powerful information into your paper.

i edited Erik's, Justin's and Laurens papers

the king

Playing college athletics at the division 1 level is a dream shared by many. Many work hard and push themselves to be the best they can be to make that dream come true. Here at Eastview high school there is a young man is getting prepared for his dream to come true. He is 6’5’’ and weighs is in the neighborhood of 280 pounds. He is a gifted young man in the classroom and on the gridiron. He has been voted to all state teams as well as all conference teams. His name is Sean Marben.

Sean has been a division 1 prospect ever since his sophomore year. While many of us were still trying to lean the game Sean was beginning to plan his future after high school. He received numerous letters in the mail from various schools all telling him they same message “We want you to be part of our 2010 football team.” Each week he would get a few new letters, from schools all over the United states.

It was not until his junior year that he started to look into all the schools and the offers that he had in front of him. “I just felt so overwhelmed, I had no idea where I wanted to go to school, all I knew was I wanted to go somewhere that was strong academically as well as having a good football team.” Sean had offers from nine division 1 schools after his junior season, some were partial scholarships but the bulk of them were full rides.

When he was not practicing he was dedicating most of his time going on college visits throughout the country, when he would come back from his trips he either didn’t like the football program or the academics the school offered. There were many factors that had to be perfect for Sean to go to a certain school “The most important factor a school must have is rewound academics, along with good football facilities, free apparel from the school, the location of the school and whether or not I will be given a job right after I graduate.”

There was one school however that stood out amongst every school. The school is located in Maryland, Annapolis to be exact. Sean Marben had chosen to attend the Naval Academy for school. “I never saw myself attending a military school but it is the perfect fit.” The Naval Academy is a great school that produces some of the United States finest students and soldiers.

There is a lot that goes onto becoming a college athlete, they are not just born gifted at their sport. Sean Marben has put hundreds of hours on the practice field and in the weight room to become one of the state’s best offensive linemen. Everyone who knows him would talk about what great work ethic he has and the leadership skills that he has.

Division 1 football is a totally different game then High Scholl football; everything happens faster, everyone is much bigger and faster. “I am preparing the best I can for college football the best I can by following the workout regiment the Navy sent me along with eating better.” It will be a very big transition from high school to college but he feels that he can make the switch by staying on top of his goals.

Football is only half of the reason Sean Marben has decided to attend the Naval Academy. The Naval Academy is known for an Ivy League education, Navy is one of the most difficult schools to be accepted into. Each year they only accept around 5% of the applicants who apply. On average over 100,000 applications are sent into the Naval Academy’s admissions offices each year and only 5,000 students are accepted. They strive to get the very best of the best who will be determined to become the best student they can be and be the best soldier they can be.

The Naval Academy is different from most universities in the country because if you attend their school for longer than two years you are required to serve in the navy for an additional five years after graduation. So while many are just working on their majors Sean will be completing his major and learning about the type of job he will want to have while serving his six additional years. Sean has selected three jobs that he has interest in doing during his five years “I plan to get a career in engineering, so I am thinking about becoming a submarine commander, Navy Seal, Or an Aviator. Mainly a submarine commander because you get a education on nuclear engineering so once I am out of the navy I can get a nuclear engineering job somewhere and make a ton of money.” These are just a few of the jobs Sean has to select from that go along with his engineering career.

Although Sean is focused on his career after the Navy he is still very excited about the four years he will be spending on the Navy campus. Sean will be attending the Naval Academy Prep School his first year of college. He will be a red shirt freshman for the football team. This means that he will still have four years of college illegibility, so he freshmen year will not go to waste if he does not get a chance to play. “I am excited about going to the Prep School, it will give me a chance to get used to what the Navy is like, and it will also give me the leadership stills needed to become a better football player and a better soldier”.

The Prep school mainly consists of young men and women who have been kicked out of the Naval Academy for breaking some sort of rules, or for the people who have issues that need to be resolved before they can become a soldier. But there is a large amount of students who attend the prep school who are in the same situation Sean will be in. So this will help him get to know people that are also athletes, mainly football players so he can build friendships with others on the team.

Most importantly Sean Marben is attending the Naval academy because of the brother hood of all those who attend the school. “The people I meet in school may be the people I go to war with, so I will learn to trust every one of them even if I do not get along with them because one of those men or women may save my life some day.” Being part of the Navy does not end when you are graduated, what those men and women laearn and the experiences that they share will stay with them for the rest of their life. They will be reminded everyday that they fought for this country.

Sean is prepared for everything the Navy brings because he feels that the Naval academy is where he belongs. But he does hope that we will not be in a state of war while he is serving.

I am going to write a story about high school athletes going on to play college athletics. My main focus will be on Sean Marben. I am going to inter view him.

When choosing where to play college football what factors helped make your decision?
-Type of education
-Be given a job after college
-the facilities
-All of the free stuff
-The location of the school

What made Navy stand out for all the other schools?
-They are an independent team so they can choose who they play each year, so they are not bound to the same schedule each year.
-they play Notre Dame and navy every year
-Ivy league education

How are you getting prepared to play college athletics?
-the Navel academy sent me a weight lifting packet that includes a core and a running workout as well.
-Eating healthier to stay lean and mean

how will you make a career out of the Navy once you are graduated from there school?
-I plan to get a career in engineering.
- You have to serve in the Navy for 5 years if you attend there school longer then 2 years so i would like to be one of three things: A submarine commander, Navy Seal, Or an Aviator.
-Mainly a submarine commander because you get a education on nuclear engineering so once i am out of the navy i can get a nuclear engineering job somewhere and make a ton of money.

Do you plan to attend the Navy prep school your first year?
-Yes because it will make my first year a breeze, i will learn more about the navy and what it take to be in the Navy.
-Also because if you go to the prep school you become a red shirt freshmen which will help me become bigger faster and stronger so that i can hopefully play all 4 years of college ball.


What other factors besides football helped make your decision about Navy?
-The main factor that helped my decision was the education, they are a highly renowned school.
-Also because it will help me create great leadership skills that all jobs love to see.
-Brotherhood of the navel Academy.

story on sean marben

I edited Lauren Goodell's and Justin Vossen's papers

Bobby Vossen

Run Wild

Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday the girls track team is getting prepared for the upcoming season through vigorous captains practices that are held within the school. Although the season is a solid two weeks away the girls are working diligently to get a head start on the season. I sat down with senior captain Taryn Dwyer, when asked what captains practices consist of she replied “we start with a warm up run then we do pilos, and then we split up into sprinters, distance runners and throwers.”

Getting a head start on the season will put the girls ahead of the game but since there is still snow on the track the girls have to stay inside to do all of their works out. When asked how the team utilizes the building when there is still snow on the ground Dwyer replied “we use the indoor track but we have to share it with the baseball team. We also use the weight room, and the hallways on the second floor and in the commons are also used for running activities.” Although the girls do not like running up and down the hall ways they know that by working out as a team a few weeks prior to the beginning of the season, will have a positive effect on the team by making them closer. I also sat down with senior captain Laura Gengler when asked if captains practices are a good way to get the tem conditioned before the season begins she replied, “Yes because we do a large amount of running, and we push the girls very hard during each drill.”

When asked if having three captains practices a week will help the girls get ready for the physical grind of the season Gengler replied, “Yes because there is a large amount of girls who show up at the practice that put everything into each and every practice.” Although there is a large number of girls that attend the practices the captains feel that attendance could still be much higher. Attendance to the practices is also not the best due to winter sports. When asked if winter sports interfere with captains practices Dwyer replied “Yes because there are a lot of starters that are not able to attend due to winter sports.” Even though the attendance to captains practice is not what they would like it to be the girls are still very optimistic about the season, they feel that once again they will have a strong year.

For the first time in Eastview Girls track history there will be six senior captains on the team. When asked why the team has six captains Gengler replied, “Because each different captain is in a different event, so with 100 plus girls it is easier to work with them when there is one captain per event.” The six senior captains make up most of the total seniors on the team. Being the only senior hurdler on the team I asked Laura Gengler what it takes to teach the younger hurdlers she replied, “A lot of patience and enthusiasm to push the girls to be the best they can be. They are doing very good and there are a few that will probably race in a few varsity events.” The captians agreed that the biggest obstacle the team will face this season is the lack of senior leadership. Dwyer started “The underclassmen will have to step up big for us to contend this year.”

The team is looking very strong, every member of the team is anxious for the season to start. Come out and support the girls as the hope to make another run at state.

hard news story

Bobby Vossen

Run Wild

Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday the girls track team is getting prepared for the upcoming season through vigorous captains practices that are held within the school. Although the season is a solid two weeks away the girls are working diligently to get a head start on the season. I sat down with senior captain Taryn Dwyer, when asked what captains practices consist of she replied “we start with a warm up run then we do pilos, and then we split up into sprinters, distance runners and throwers.”

Getting a head start on the season will put the girls ahead of the game but since there is still snow on the track the girls have to stay inside to do all of their works out. When asked how the team utilizes the building when there is still snow on the ground Dwyer replied “we use the indoor track but we have to share it with the baseball team. We also use the weight room, and the hallways on the second floor and in the commons are also used for running activities.” Although the girls do not like running up and down the hall ways they know that by working out as a team a few weeks prior to the beginning of the season, will have a positive effect on the team by making them closer. I also sat down with senior captain Laura Gengler when asked if captains practices are a good way to get the tem conditioned before the season begins she replied, “Yes because we do a large amount of running, and we push the girls very hard during each drill.”

When asked if having three captains practices a week will help the girls get ready for the physical grind of the season Gengler replied, “Yes because there is a large amount of girls who show up at the practice that put everything into each and every practice.” Although there is a large number of girls that attend the practices the captains feel that attendance could still be much higher. Attendance to the practices is also not the best due to winter sports. When asked if winter sports interfere with captains practices Dwyer replied “Yes because there are a lot of starters that are not able to attend due to winter sports.” Even though the attendance to captains practice is not what they would like it to be the girls are still very optimistic about the season, they feel that once again they will have a strong year.

For the first time in Eastview Girls track history there will be six senior captains on the team. When asked why the team has six captains Gengler replied, “Because each different captain is in a different event, so with 100 plus girls it is easier to work with them when there is one captain per event.” The six senior captains make up most of the total seniors on the team. Being the only senior hurdler on the team I asked Laura Gengler what it takes to teach the younger hurdlers she replied, “A lot of patience and enthusiasm to push the girls to be the best they can be. They are doing very good and there are a few that will probably race in a few varsity events.” The captians agreed that the biggest obstacle the team will face this season is the lack of senior leadership. Dwyer started “The underclassmen will have to step up big for us to contend this year.”

The team is looking very strong, every member of the team is anxious for the season to start. Come out and support the girls as the hope to make another run at state.

Interview questions and answers for Laura Gengler:

1. Being the only senior hurdler what does it take to teach the younger hurdlers?
A: Alot of patience and enthusiasm to push the girls to be the best they can be.

2. Do you feel by having captians practice three times a week will help the athletes get used to the grind of the season?
A: Yes because there is a large amount of girls who show up at the practice that put everything into each and every practice.

3. Do you feel that the captians practices are a good way to get conditioning in before the season starts?
A:Yes because we do a large amount of running, and we push the girls very hard during each drill.

4. How will the season be different with a smaller number of seniors?
A: We will need alot of younger girls to step up this year so we can contend.

5: Why does the team have 6 captians?
A: Because each different captian is in a different event, so with 100+ girls it is easier to work with them when there is one captian per event.

6: Do winter sports conflict with captians practice?
A: Yes because there are alot of starters that are not able to attend due to winter sports.

Interview questions and answers for Taryn Dwyer:

1. what is the team doing to prepare for the upcoming season?
A: We have captians practice every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

2.What do captians practices consist of?
A: We start with a warm up run then we do pilos, and then we split up into sprinters, distance runners and throwers.

3. How will this year be different from years in the past?
A: There will be less seniors on the team this year.

4. Do you feel the incoming freshmen will play major roles in the team this year?
A: The underclassmen have a select group of freshmen that contribute a great deal to the team.

5. How do you utilize the building when there is still snow on the ground?
A: We use the indoor track but we have to share it with the baseball team. we also use the weight room, and the hallways on the second floor and in the commons are also used for running activities.

Interview questions and answers for the Dwyers:

1: As a parent what do you have to do to get ready for the season?
A: Prepare for the elements, some meets are cold and rainy while others are hot.

2. As a parent what goes into the booster club?
A: Alot of volunteer work for the concessions at each home event.

3. What will the booster club provide for the team this year?
A: Team dinners, fundraisisng events and volunteer work at the meets.

4. What are you most looking forward to this season?
A: Watching my daughter break records.


Interview questions and answers for the Dwyer parents:

Story: Cutting Sports from the middle school level

Angle: how will this effect athletes coming into high school?